Dealing with the loss of a spouse is bad enough, but seeing your children suffer – waking from nightmares about their mum, crying uncontrollably without warning, getting upset at school at the slightest trigger – is even worse.Mother's Day became the most dreaded day of the year.It is healthy to go through a normal grief process and dating.Grief can be a very long process and has many different stages.We envisioned starting our own church together one day.My faith and the support I received from my church family helped sustain me after my husband’s death; they cried with me, laughed with me, cooked for me and prayed for me. Knowing the rules may make me more prudent, but it hasn’t allayed my fears. After all, I want my kids to grow up knowing who their father was and what he meant to me. My in-laws and my husband’s friends will be around.If a scene could sum up some of my first thoughts after my husband died last year at age 28, it would be the scene in the hit BET series “Being Mary Jane,” when Robinne Lee’s character, Avery, lifts up her shirt exposing her stomach full of stretch marks. She had two kids and the body to prove it, and reentering the dating scene seemed too much to handle. Avery had just found out her husband had cheated, and was wrestling with the decision whether to leave or stay.
I'm 39, and like many younger bereaved people, I've had to get used to a word I never thought would apply to me: widower.
The heart of our family had been ripped away from us, and as much as counselling helped me come to terms with the reality, the gaping hole remained.
After a while, though, I realised that eventually I would have to try to fill the gaping hole and I began to think about another aspect of my situation – being single again after 14 years of marriage. One day, my daughter asked me if I was going to get a girlfriend. After a pause, she asked with a hint of excitement: "Will we get a baby brother or sister?
Oster is the co-owner of a professional photography business and advises the owner on hardware and software acquisitions for the company.
Single-parent households, whether due to divorce, breakups or death, are more commonplace today than they were 20 years ago, according to 2013 information from the American Psychological Association.